Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions
This week I
witnessed a microaggression in a conversation I overheard with a couple of my friends.
One of my friends, who is gay, was talking about how she was nervous to meet
her girlfriend’s parents because they are not supportive of their daughter
dating a woman. The other friend in the conversation said, “Yea, I totally know
what you mean. I was nervous to meet my boyfriend’s parents the first time
too.” While the other friend was trying to connect and resonate with her
feelings, it ended up microinvalidating the situation (Laureate Education (Producer), 2011). It
made me uncomfortable and I could tell that my friend felt as if her problem
was not as important because of the statement made, even though the situations
are very different.
My observation
experience this week affected my perception of the effects of discrimination,
prejudice, and stereotypes on people because I was more attentive to it. I know
and understand the effects of these concepts, but am not always actively
seeking them in my every day life. Constantly keeping my ears open to any type
of biases or microaggressions provided insight into how commonly they are used
in my direct setting. I believe they are a result of interpersonal oppressions,
which are “messages we have absorbed about groups other than our own” (Margles
& Margles, 2010, p. 138). However in the situation I witnessed, I believe
it can also stem from our attempt to connect with others but not understand
that certain people experience situations that are different than our own, and
attempting to connect can invalidate the experience.
References
Margles, S.,
& Margles, R. M. (2010). Inverting racism's distortions. Our Schools/Our Selves, 19(3), 137–149.
Laureate
Education (Producer). (2011). Microaggressions
in everyday life [Video file]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu
Tara, the scenario you shared is a very important topic to consider. I think scenarios like this happen often in society where you feel you are agreeing and sharing a common feeling as someone else, but end up taking the attention away from someone else's feelings and putting it on yourself. I am sure this was an unintentional act of your friend, but still very important to address. I learned this week that this topic of microaggression is on our brain as we are studying it, so to us it is easier to detect an example compared to someone who is not studying microaggressions where they are not aware of their actions. It has helped me see the importance in sharing the information I have learned regarding this topic!
ReplyDeleteBri
Hi Tara,
ReplyDeleteFrom being in this course, it makes me wonder what are the right words to say when your intention is to help comfort another and not necessary taking the attention from someone else's feeling, but be able to relate to it in a politically correct way. I had a similar story with my co-worker and her family. I think keeping our ears open helps, and conscious attitudes and beliefs can change (Teaching Tolerance, n.d.).
As teachers, it is important we catch these microagression in children to help them understand equality matters.
Sophia
Tara
ReplyDeleteThis course has shown me different insights on cultural and diversity. I feel that building a relationship and getting to know others before judging will assist with microaggression towards others. The friend that you have that is gay, may have been unsure of how her friend parents would react towards their relationship.
Tara,
ReplyDeleteYou provided a very relevant example of an everyday microaggressios that may occur between people that care about each other. Our peers commented that it is out of good intention to try to connect and share an experience with another individual, but unfortunately undermines personal feelings about the situation. So, how do we share an experience with another person without discrediting their experiences? Personally, I think starting with just acknowledging the other person's feelings is validation enough. "It sounds like you are more worried than usual to meet her parents, that must be scary for you." And if I want to share a personal experience, I acknowledge it is similar but not exact. I believe owning the value in the difference in experiences provides some validation as well. Thanks for sharing!
-Crystal